Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Clemens: Having a Hard Time

"What's your freakin' problem man? You a pervert?!"

Roger Clemens clearly wasn't happy with the question.

Of course he was using Viagra as a performance enhancing drug, not as some sick erection inducing supplement to aid his aging body in his conquest with a 15-year-old country star, you pervert.

"I never needed it [with her]," Clemens said stiffly. "I only ever used it to improve my fast balls."

Clemens has had to answer a lot of hard questions lately. After being questioned by Congress, then being pubically humiliated with allegations of infidelity with then 15-year-old country star Mindy McCready, he now has to deal with questions surrounding his Rocket and its ability to achieve liftoff.

According to Roger, though, he firmly rejects any such questions. "It's pretty obvious I was using it to gain an edge on the field, like every other chemical I could find to put in my body."

"Why don't you guys just leave me alone?! I'm ROGER CLEMENS!"

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